My ‘COVID Commitment’ revealed. What is yours?

Never waste a good crisis.

I am not being flippant. I know that for some, just surviving is the goal of this horrible time. For others, avoiding economic destruction is the focus.

Health and jobs are the most important things to preserve. But most people will get through this with those two intact.

That being the case, where is the silver lining? What is the benefit you have created out of this?

There is no shortage of suggestions. Get fit. Study. Connect with family. All good.

But what about something about your behaviour?  Your habits? Something about you that you are not proud of? A trait that holds you back?

Can you improve?

Are you self-aware enough to see the weakness and make a change?

Think about you, while we tear me apart.

Am I self-aware enough to improve?

I have many weaknesses. The list is long. But the thing I need to change now is this.

I am a bad, bad listener.

I like to think I am a solid communicator, and it’s true I can write a pithy paragraph, and contrive a sound argument. I can communicate ideas from a stage, or in a one-on-one, as well as most, I suppose.

But communicating is listening too, right? Surely ‘understanding’ is the foundation of it all?

So ‘active listening’ is a crucial business skill. Indeed it’s a highly evolved human competency. It is most definitely something a consultative recruiter excels at. And I lack it. Well, often I do, anyway.

I know what I do wrong, but I have been slow to make significant improvements. I see the same fault in others, and it irritates me no end when they don’t listen to me!

So from now on, it’s time for me to become a better listener.  My personal COVID Challenge. I am working on it right now in my hundreds of conversations with recruiters and recruitment owners. All of whom are under stress.

How can I actively improve?

• Listen to understand, not to formulate an answer.
• Stop interrupting. (I am disgracefully guilty of this)
• To be ‘more present’. Not to allow my mind to wander. To focus and concentrate. On the other person.
• Stop assuming I know what someone is going to say.
• To listen to ‘the whole person’. In other words, be attuned to body language, tone and other non-verbal signals, so I really can understand.
• Approach every conversation with a more open mind, with more empathy.
• To be ‘slower to understand’. Not to jump in with a solution too fast. To think more before I talk.
• To ask more and smarter questions, so I really do understand.
• Not to be defensive when I sense criticism or a different point of view.

I know I will fail at much of this. But I will try. And I will get better. Because it’s important. At work. In personal relationships. With your kids. I am working on all of these right now.

I need to worry far less about ‘being right’, and far more about ‘being right about what the other person thinks and feels’.

I need to remind myself every morning (and you might consider doing the same) that nothing I say today is going to teach me anything. Only by listening will I learn anything new.

I have mentioned elsewhere how the best recruiter I ever knew was a great listener. All the people I really respect and trust and go to for insights are great listeners.

When someone really listens to you, you feel respected. Validated.

I must do better.

That’s how I will be different when this crisis is over.

That, and fatter.

How about you?

What good is COVID 19 going to do in your life, and the life of those around you?

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