Does my butt look big in this?

What do you say to a friend who wants your ‘real’ opinion on a matter of some sensitivity?

You know, “Do you think I should marry her?” or showing off a new pair of jeans, “Does my butt look big in this?”

It’s a tricky dilemma. You don’t want to rock the boat. You certainly don’t want to hurt your friends’ feelings. But on the other hand, being honest, while painful, is almost certainly in their best interests.

To answer these questions well, it takes courage. It takes discretion. It takes a lot of trust between two people.

And guess what?

That is precisely the relationship a good recruiter has with clients.

Would you tell your client that he is not securing the best candidates because the interview process is too long and too demeaning for the talent?

Can you find a way to coach your client on her interview technique, which is turning candidates away? Are you a ‘trusted advisor’?

Do you have the “Recruiter Equity‘ to say to a client that she will never hire the calibre of candidate she is looking for unless she offers more flexible work conditions?

Do you have the kind of consultative relationship that enables you to tell your client that their employer brand is weak, there are negative rumblings in the market about ‘work culture’, and that they need to do things to improve their image in the employer marketplace?

This is the recruiting equivalent of telling your friend their butt looks huge in those jeans, and they had best stop wearing them.

Or telling your best mate that his new mullet haircut is an embarrassment to men everywhere.

It must be done. You are not a friend if you don’t. And as a recruiter, you are not a ‘consultant’ if you don’t.

It takes courage and careful communication.

But mostly, it means you have built up trust with that client (or candidate, for that matter).

They won’t necessarily like what you say, but they will deeply value the fact that you can tell them.

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