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Somebody resigned? Don’t be a fool. Stay cool.

A while ago I wrote what proved to be a popular blog about how to resign with grace.

But what about the manager who gets a resignation? How should they behave?

Sad to say, the commercial world is rife with mind-blowing tales of how badly bosses react when an employee resigns.

In the recruitment industry we all know of cases of petty, vindictive and childish behaviour when an employee resigns, especially to go to a competitor.

I wrote before that the way you exit a company defines you in some way, and can hurt or help you in the future. The same goes for the receiver of the resignation.

I appreciate better than most that the emotions that flood you when an employee resigns unexpectedly can cloud your judgment. You are angry, feel betrayed, scared of the repercussions perhaps.

But retaining your dignity and acting with grace is the best way.

Keep calm. This is hardest thing to do sometimes, I know. Retain your cool. Avoid saying threatening things. “I will get you for this”. Avoid saying emotive things. “After all I have done for you, you repay me with this?” You look foolish at best, and you inevitably inflame the situation. Mostly, if you behave like this it gives the departing employee all the ammunition they need to neglect their remaining obligations to you and the company. So, you lose.

Understand the reasons. This is hard. The employee has prepared their ‘spiel’. They have finessed how they portray the reasons. Often it’s designed to diffuse the situation, and is not the real reason at all. Sometimes it’s an outright lie. You need to dig and explore, calmly and rationally, why this person wants to leave. Maybe the situation can be saved, if that is what you want. Maybe you can learn something about your own business that could save future resignations.

Don’t make an impulsive counter-offer. You face losing a key person. You throw more money at them. There and then. Never a good look. Often regretted. First explore the reasons. Dig and discuss. A restructured package or evolved role may be an answer. But that comes later, in another discussion, if at all.

Don’t boot them out the door. This happens all the time. It makes no sense. If the person is going to take data or secure relationships for their future job, trust me, they have done that already! The damage is already done. So now you need to act in your best interests. And your best interest may be to keep them right where they are while you put a few things in place to mitigate the damage. It might be just for a week, or a few days. But don’t kick them out the door in a knee-jerk display of pique. Be cool. Be smart. Suppress the emotion and the impulse. Play to the commercial imperative.

Don’t be petty. “Well, you can stop using the company car park from today then!” You look like a jerk. Be bigger than that.

Thank them. Yes, I know you are hugely pissed off. But this person worked for you. And if they are still there, we presume you valued their input. Thank them. It can do no harm, and usually helps a lot.

Pay them what they are owed. Your choice, but shortchanging someone at this point inevitably leads to bitterness and often costly repercussions. And your remaining staff will hear of it and your reputation will be damaged.

One door closes, another opens. If I only had a dollar for the times I have felt, and others have told me “We were devastated when she resigned, but in fact it’s been for the best. We never realised how destructive she was in the team, and things are much better now and other people have stepped up…” A resignation may be a negative, but it’s also an opportunity. Look for that opportunity. Who can you promote? What team structure can you now change for the better?

Keep the door open. My attitude to this is simple. If the person leaves on a sour note. Lies, is destructive, does not stick to their notice obligations, or coasts through that period, they are history to me as far as future employment goes. If, on the other hand they resign for sound reasons of their own, give appropriate notice, help with handover, maintain the right attitude, the last thing I say to them is this. “I wish you well, and if the circumstances are right for both of us, the door may well be open here in the future”. I probably re-hired 25 people over the years. And they just about all worked out, because now they know the grass is not greener on the other side.

The way you handle stressful and challenging situations defines you as a leader. It adds to, or detracts from, your internal credibility too.

I know it’s easy for me to give this advice, and in truth there are many times I have not behaved like this myself. But I learned. I got better. I handled things differently over time.

And I was much happier, and more effective as a leader, for it.

I am very interested in your views on this. Please leave your comments below.

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TWO WEEKS TO GO> Get on it! UK readers, please join me in London on September 10th. Two masterclass presentations. One for recruiters, one for Owners/Managers

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  • Posted by Greg Savage
  • On August 26, 2014
  • 22 Comments
Tags: Ethics, Leadership, Management Skills, personal branding

22 Comments

Lyndon Hawk
  • Aug 26 2014
  • Reply
Greg, Great words of wisdom and this is how I believe employees should be treated. Remaining calm and appreciative of the effort and results a person has made is the way to go. It will continue the relationship. A knee jerk counter offer is not what is required as it exposes you to, if that was the case why didn't you offer me a promotion or more money based upon my performance rather than waiting until I offer my resignation. Thank you
Peter Goodwin
  • Aug 26 2014
  • Reply
Greg This is a great article and addresses so many options and situations. Your professionalism is on the line when dealing with a resignation. In my career, I have delivered one summary dismissal for gross misconduct and this is the only time I have been "aggressive" about someone leaving. In all cases of resignation I have been involved in, I have wished them well, even if going to a competitor and I am happy to say that I have remained on good terms with many of those people for many years following. This has included having them recommend my company to potential clients after they have left the industry -- the old " burn no bridges" concept.
Emily Morgan
  • Aug 26 2014
  • Reply
Greg! If only you could really make people see this!!!! Due to certain actions from people at the top they DO damage their reputation and then no one wants to work for them. There is too much of this going on, so much so that I obtain a clear indication of how one reacts to certain things BEFORE I decide whether I want to even recruit for them! Yes I want to do the right thing by by client, however I can't knowingly place a candidate in their office if this is happening whether it be a reaction from resigning or more on a day to day basis for whatever they see fit about yelling over. This is why I am NOT a business owner as such, I know I am NOT ready to "stay calm" therefore have my own growing to do first! I think admitting that you haven't always been perfect yourself, says a lot about the person you have grown to be and I admire that, thank-you for being real! I love reading your articles, they are truthful, real and informative! Keep them coming!
Francesca
  • Aug 26 2014
  • Reply
I can vouch for you practicing exactly what you preach! Thank you for re-hiring me for the 2nd time! I'll never leave you again (unless you want me to?)
    Greg Savage
    • Aug 26 2014
    • Reply
    I will NEVER want you to Franca....
ingrid
  • Aug 26 2014
  • Reply
It is often said that employees resign form PEOPLE not COMPANIES. I believe the exit interview is under used in our industry. On, or just before the resignee's last date, have another employee do the exit interview even a peer if need be. This will give you an idea of potential leadership problems in your organisation. Your brand is more than the product or service your company render. It is also how you treat your staff and company values that will complete the full picture of BRAND.
Lynne
  • Aug 27 2014
  • Reply
Ingrid, your response resonates with me. I dreaded leaving a couple of untenable situations because I had no faith that the owner or manager could see beyond his perspective. I have also been aware of this worry/concern on the part of other colleagues/friends. To be able to talk openly to someone who cannot empathize or be of a mind to feel they need to be objective is a very good opportunity both for the company and the person leaving. I agree an exit interview should provide more value - and not exist simply as a formality that neither party truly cares about.
Lynne
  • Aug 27 2014
  • Reply
Oops-don't see where to edit - talk opening to someone who can empathize. .
Lynne
  • Aug 27 2014
  • Reply
OK!!! More coffee or less- !!** TALK OPENLY. Help! Was there a way to edit?
Bradley Richardson
  • Aug 27 2014
  • Reply
Greg. you are spot on. Regardless of who leaves who... it is like a breakup and you can act like a child and leave the relationship with resentment or like an adult (still mad or upset) but with class. Sadly too often if feels like a "personal slight" for the hiring manager who (naturally) goes into "oh Sh** what will I do mode" and thus over reacts like a jilted lover. (I've been on the giving and receiving end of this... and it's hard).. but at least in the US there is a tendency to quickly say, "fine... get your *&#$ and get out now. We call employees (family) until it is time to move on, then discard them and leave a lot of ill will. - I believe you're a rugby or cricket fan if I'm correct, I'm sure that the sports analogy is the same. In the US you can trace some of the best football coaches to one or two programs. They served as assistants under a successful coach or program and then left to make a name for themselves... but the good will created from that leader spreads throughout the league and leaves a legacy for that program. People leave... unless they were an ass while there or it is a bad situation... celebrate the run you had, wish them well and move on. Keep up the great stuff mate. Bradley Richardson, Dallas, Texas
    Greg Savage
    • Aug 27 2014
    • Reply
    Rugby AND Cricket in fact Bradley :) Agree with your comments. Many thanks Greg
Ian
  • Aug 28 2014
  • Reply
There's still a (sadly) common mindset in recruitment which is get people out the door, cursing them, laughing at them and trying to make them feel as belittled as you can. Managers believe this to be a way of keeping their other staff members almost through fright of the same thing happening to them. As crazy as this sounds on paper, it's true. Too many managers let their ego's get in the way of the process. To me, exiting people in the right way is also one of the biggest ways of increasing your staff retention.
Kevin
  • Sep 3 2014
  • Reply
"The way you handle stressful and challenging situations defines you as a leader. It adds to, or detracts from, your internal credibility too." What a coincidence. I had a situation this morning. This is one of the best advise to help career progression.
Anthony Hesse - Property Personnel
  • Sep 9 2014
  • Reply
Excellent blog Greg! Totally agree with all of this, if only more of my clients did too! We specialise in Estate Agency Recruitment, and some of the negative behaviour you mention in your blog is all too prevalent in that industry! I've been thinking of writing something similar for a long time, but just don't seem to have the time! Cheers! Anthony
Helen
  • Sep 24 2014
  • Reply
Interesting - today of all days! An ex employee who worked for us in 2008 and recently moved back North was rehired to start today in a management role.We were impressed with how she'd grown professionally in the past eight years and her references were glowing.......... She texted late last night to say she'd changed her mind. So whilst I agree with the main points - with regards to leaving the door open? Today it's closed locked,bolted and trip wired.
Albert Bellamy Belloni
  • Sep 24 2014
  • Reply
Never give any information that is beneficial to improving the job you decided to leave. Resigning should always be the last straw and to your benefit. Stay calm after all the broken promises you were fed, the lies you were told. Yes, keep the friendship but never sell yourself short.
Sophie
  • Feb 27 2015
  • Reply
what about if a candidate who join the company join just 1-2 months and left suddenly? how to take this?
Rebecca
  • Dec 17 2015
  • Reply
I had an awful experience with an ex employer who I was with for 4 years. I handed in my notice, albeit on payday to protect myself. The abuse I received was off the scale, their first words were "how dare you, on payday? You know that makes you an F****** thief" they continued literally shouting and screaming at me as they chased me out of the door calling me all sorts of names in front of all my old colleagues to the point I was actually terrified of the consequences and spoke to the police.
Ekta Punjabi
  • Sep 23 2017
  • Reply
This is so true! Workplace are quite parallel to original life. People have their own choices, and sometimes they leave on an unreasonable note. Basically, if someone keeps on saying that I want to resign and still doesnt. This means that they have their own advantage to it. We should accept peoples resignation as managers, if we feel that this was really needed. However, if an organisation is designed well, then I believe, people will come and go, the structure stays the same. everything needs to be documented, even a simple behaviour. HR file records should have a separate case study for each and every employee.
Josephine
  • Jan 31 2018
  • Reply
Gosh - I have just handed my notice in as I was headhunted for an amazing opportunity - it's the chance to change my life so I had to take it. I have grown my marketing team from 2 - 5 and I manage in a very different way to the rest of the organisation. My team wants to work hard for me - we are a tight-knit unit - I am committed to upskilling them and getting them ready for their next role. I've had terrible and fantastic managers over the years and what I do know is that when you are young and in your 20s - having a mentor and someone to support in your professional development is crucial to career continuity. Unfortunately, the company I work for is going through financial hardship and there are very few hands-on managers - there was a swathe of redundancies in December - handled appallingly by the board (they were told by email while the directors were all out of the country), the repercussions of which were left to 'heads of...' such as myself to deal with the fall-out with zero director support and little to no information. I was headhunted for 3-roles towards the end of the year and decided to take the plunge and put me (as opposed to my organisation) first for a change. Super nervous handing my notice in. I was counter-offered immediately, massive ambiguity over my notice period, he refused to accept the 4-months on my contract, said it was 3-months but then wouldn't agree on a leave date. I went to the chairman to try and get some closure and agree a date (my MD went from saying we'll agree a 'mutually agreeable timeframe' to saying refuses to give me a leave date until he has recruited for my replacement and I have to work to contract as discussed - we were still debating whether I had to work to 3/4 months notice - 100% unreasonable and unapproachable). I was so upset by the tone of the emails being sent I had no choice otherwise I risked losing my new contract. I was then accused of being devious and spiteful and now - he has reluctantly allowed me to have a 2-months notice period (after the chairman had a word) but is openly being rude and just down-right horrible on email with several people copied in. I have 6-weeks left and have gone from wanting to do my absolute best as I always do - to absolutely hating coming to work and I have zero motivation to create an amazing handover. I always say 'never slam a door' but my MD is now acting like a jilted lover. I had heard he could be a bully and unreasonable but never experienced it. Our pension hasn't been paid and they have been reported to the authorities, close 95% of the organisation is job hunting ... it's really sad. I always had a lot of time for my MD, really respected him, now I just think he is a narcissist and a bully and I don't want to do business with him or his organisation again. He's a silly billy. My new role is an MD role - I'm learning how not to manage relationships and how not to get the best out of your staff. Such a shame, it needn't be like this!
marjorie
  • Jun 8 2018
  • Reply
hi If I have resigned with a months notice. while I am working out my notice am I allowed to go on new job interviews. do I have to put leave in.
    Greg Savage
    • Jun 8 2018
    • Reply
    Not sure what country you are in etc, but in most places you would be expected to fulfill your current employment obligations. ie get permission t be away from work, or take a days leave

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Greg is the founder of leading recruitment companies Firebrand Talent Search, People2People and Recruitment Solutions, and a current shareholder and director of several others, including Consult Recruitment. He is a regular keynote speaker worldwide and provides specialised advice for Recruitment, Professional Services & Social Media companies.





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