This post may offend some readers, recruiters or not. But only because it’s going to cut close to the bone for many.
And I don’t care if I sound old-fashioned, because actually it’s nothing to do with ‘fashion’ or ‘generation’. It’s got everything to do with basic good manners and respect for other people.
So here goes… How did it get to be “OK” for people to be late for everything?
Because as far as I am concerned, it’s not OK.
In recent years it seems that a meeting set to start at 9 am, for some people means in the general vicinity of any time which starts with the numeral ‘9’. Like 9.30 for example.
People drift in at 9.10 or 9.20, or even later. And they smile warmly at the waiting group, as they unwrap their bacon sandwich, apparently totally unconcerned that others have been there since five to nine, prepared and ready to start.
10 people kept waiting in a meeting for 20 minutes, while some selfish pratt who idles his way via the coffee shop, is actually 20 minutes times 10, which is 200 minutes wasted – while you keep us waiting because you did not catch the earlier bus. That is over 3 hours wasted. By you! How much has that cost the business? Shall I send you an invoice?
And an arrangement to meet someone for a business meeting at a coffee shop at 3 pm, more often than not means at 3.10 you get a text saying ‘I am five minutes away’ which inevitably means 10 minutes, and so you wait for 15 or 20 minutes, kicking your heels in frustration.
And often these ‘latecomers’ are people who have requested the meeting in the first place, are asking for your help, or are selling something. Fat chance mate!
And of course this has massive application to the recruitment industry, where lateness is both commonplace and hugely damaging to your personal and corporate brand.
And it’s not only business.
Why do people, invited for a dinner party at 7.30, think its cool to arrive at 8.30? It’s rude. It’s inconsiderate. And it’s selfish, as I witnessed in a coffee shop near my home one weekend. Three “ladies who lunch” (a species not confined to, but heavily represented on, the lower North Shore of Sydney) were chatting loudly at the table next to me. One inquired what time the ‘drinks do’ was that night. The reply for all the world to hear was ‘Oh 7.30, but we won’t get there till 9 because by then it will have warmed up and all the interesting people will have arrived’. Nice. Imagine if everyone took that view. Cocktail parties would start at 3 am eventually.
Or a dinner at a restaurant where I was meeting two other couples. My wife was away, so I was flying solo. I arrived at two minutes to eight for an eight o’clock booking. At 8.20, I was into my second glass of Pinot and at half-past I got a text saying ‘on the way’. We finally were all seated at 8.45. There were not even attempted excuses from either of the two couples, who seemed oblivious to the fact I might actually have got there at the agreed time. Meanwhile I had put a huge dent in the bottle of Pinot, and was ready to go home.
And it is not that we lead ‘busy lives’. That’s a given, we all do, and it’s a cop out to use that as an excuse. It’s simply that some people no longer even pretend that they think your time is as important as theirs. And technology makes it worse. It seems texting or emailing that you are late somehow means you are no longer late.
Rubbish.
You are rude. And inconsiderate.
And I act on it to. My dentist kept me waiting 50 minutes not long ago. I walked out, past a literally open-mouthed receptionist who had never seen a patient act on their frustration, only to get a frantic call from the dentist herself as I got into my car.
Sure she was “busy”, another patient took longer than she expected, blah blah.
But hold on, I am busy too! I would not keep her waiting 45 minutes if she came to see me as a candidate. And yet I am HER customer. I told her I have been coming to you for 15 years but don’t take me for granted. See fewer patients in a day if you have to, but see me on time or close to it. She has never kept me waiting again.
Me? Am I ever late? Sure, sometimes. That’s inevitable even with the best intentions. But I never plan to be late. I never ‘let time slide’ because my stuff is more important than yours.
I am not talking about the odd occasion of lateness. I am talking about people who are routinely late. In fact, never on time. You know who I am talking about!
And certainly I consider serial lateness a character flaw which I take into account when working out who to promote, who to hire and who to count amongst my real friends.
It’s that important.
HI Greg,
I’m with you a 100% on this. I wrote this piece here, I hope you find it interesting:
http://contrariansmind.wordpress.com/2012/02/15/dont-leave-it-too-late-to-start-being-early/
All the best,
Jeff Robinson
I find it hard to count on one hand the amount of times a recruiter is fleeting with time when returning a call, meeting me for coffee or commenced a meeting or interview.
Pot, kettle anyone?
Not THIS pot Brian. My point really……
You have a very USA-centric approach to time. So do I. Typically my arrival to places is early, and I quip that if I’m late I’m either dead or maimed. Then I met someone who’s attitude was “If I get a call from you which delays my arrival where I had planned to be, I will give my full attention to you until the need is met and I can move on.” Think polychronic rather than monochronic. Though this fellow often ran late, he also often stopped what he was doing in order to lend a listening ear. I began to revise my understanding of time when he was late realizing that something more important than meeting “me” may have occurred in his journey to meet me. I think the title to your blog merits some introspection…. I would argue that sometimes when we demand promptness from others we are the victims of thinking that the world should be molded around us and our timelines. I am all for common courtesy, but I am also for giving grace to others rather than assuming I know their half of the story.
Thanks for your comments Wendy. It’s cool you feel I “have a very USA -centric approach to time”. Not sure why that would be seeing as I was born and brought up in Africa and live in Australia….
Excellent blog. I will put my hand up and say I do struggle with being late because I think I can do more in the time I have than I can do. I grew up this way as well with my mom always making the fam show up everywhere quite late, and I was always the last kid to be picked up from school. I had one friend who made a huge impression on me when I was 15 minutes late to band practice. She said, “Deb, I don’t care if you want to start at 7:15, but I’ve been sitting at my drum set for 15 minutes waiting. If you respect me, and my time, be here at 7, or make the start time 7:15 so I can do other things until then.” I was never late again to band practice.
One simple thing for someone like me who thinks they can fit more in than they can is to aim for an earlier time and convince yourself that’s the time you need to be there, that way if something gets in the way, you still turn up on time. The only thing I can’t seem to overcome is what to do when 3 of my buses fly past my stop because they’re full or there are accidents on the Harbour bridge…perhaps maybe I just shouldn’t live all the way in Dee Why!
As far as I’m concerned if you’re not 5 minutes early you’re going to be 5 minutes late.
…and how true.
Rant 1).
I travelled 6 hours return via car, train, tube and foot to London for an interview (satellite position was closer to home) at the head office of KPMG. At my expense the interviewer met me at reception 20 minutes late with no apology and limp hand shake. I wasn’t expected at reception either. The interviewer then wouldn’t provide any information on the position and then had the cheek to ask me if I had any questions. She even left the interview twice as I was talking to speak to a colleague. She couldn’t be bothered to see me back to reception!
Although this is about an interview it shows the lack of professional manors and time management. If you don’t want to interview then don’t waste other peoples time and money.
Rant 2).
In my profession I deal with a lot of off shore work (technical people working abroad). The first 2 meetings result in late attendance (80%), delegation to people you don’t work on the project who are clueless with no input or just don’t turn up!!
During the 2 meetings & out side of the meeting I make it very clear what is expected. Consequently meetings going forward = all either inform me if they will be late, can’t make it with a delegated person who will take responsibility. I make it very clear to everyone regardless if “on or off shore” resources. YOU will be on time as you disturb everyone turning up late and can be replaced. Why do we think we are all expendable & self important to think we can turn up when we like. I may sound harsh but unless you start as you mean to go on I.e professional: my project becomes out of control to deliver tasks & eventually political and over complex with too many excuses why things aren’t completed on time. As an interim Project Manager I know too well that IT resources, including me are expendable!!
Thank you so much for your superb writing. I was beginning to think it was me that was at fault as my ‘late’ friends have been telling me. “You have a hang up about being late” They have been telling me, and I was beginning to believe them.
I have been late twice in my life and that was due to public transport problems; I had left with plenty of time, as usual but there was a train derailment. I felt guilty about my tardiness and felt I had to explain so much as to what had happened.
I am so tempted to email the link to your page but, I know my chums will think I am acting strangely. For the first time in my life(52 years) I said “no” last night.
It was arranged, to suit one of the invitees that we would meet for dinner at 5pm. I was paying for one of the guests as he was on hard times. On my way to the dinner date at 4:20pm for a twenty minute journey, I got a text message saying that “We will see you at 6:45pm, no apologies, nowt. Along with the guest that was on hard times telling me earlier that he wasn’t coming as he had an emergency dental appointment and felt bad about me paying for his meal, I had, finally had enough and sent a text saying that I thought that they were rude, had no respect for me and I was sick of being abused.
The person that had insisted that we meet at 5pm has been late for the thirty eight years I have known her.
I went for a walk and had a dinner at home on my own. I was pleased that i had finally told them that i had had enough.
I felt so much better for doing so but was wondering if, perhaps it was ME and not them that had the problem.
After reading your fine words, at least three times this morning, I feel so much better.
Thank you.
Jez C Self
Good for you Jez…feels good doesn’t it?
Please include doctor appointments they always make you wait for at least 30 mins
I’m always unfashionabley early for appointments and expect the same from others any excuse is only an excuse at 65 years of age I arrive on time and want the same courtesy
Greg – The more I read your posts the more I identify with your outlook on life. Must be the Africa connection we share? I completely agree with your sentiments. For those that are late for a genuinely good reason – courtesy demands understanding. My particular favourite are those managers who habitually arrive late to their own meeting as if to accentuate their own self-importance by keeping people hanging around.